On November 16, 2025, I wrote these words in my journal: Father God, I love being disappointed. Let down. Because it leads me straight back to you. Life’s disappointments are forms of your abundant love and grace towards me because they always leave me running straight back into your arms. And that is where I want to be.
I’ve been disappointed since then, and in the midst of let down, I came back to this entry to remind myself that God often works through life’s disappointments and hardships. It is through my suffering and frustration that I have felt His nearness most profoundly.
Isn’t it a wonder how God takes the most excruciating parts of life and turns them into something of a marvel? One of my favorite songs is called Wonder by Hillsong UNITED, and there are a couple of lines in the song that especially captivate me: You’re the wonder in the wild. Turning wilderness to wonder.
I’ll confess, I listened to this song for a long time without really understanding the words of the last line. In other words, I misheard the lyrics. When I finally looked them up to clarify, I was both touched and blown away. It came at a time when I was facing, yet again, a perpetual wilderness in my life. In the midst of emptiness, the Lord used those lyrics to remind me that He is filling that emptiness with His presence.
He turns the wildernesses of my life into spectacles of His abundant love for and grace toward me.
And He is good at it.
It’s come to the point that I hardly fear these wildernesses because I know God is faithful to work through them. I enter them with expectation, waiting, and anticipation, hands open to receive the love, comfort, and grace that Jesus so freely gives.
Life’s disappointments and hardships, though still painful, have no power over me because I know God will redeem them. Not by material provision, but by the provision of His presence. It’s hard to explain, but if you have personally experienced the enveloping love of Christ amidst frustration, disappointment, rejection, sadness, and grief, then you understand how much better His love, His presence, and His nearness is than anything else in this life.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you. (Psalm 63:3-5 ESV)
In moments of life when the world sees lack, that’s when He fills me. When the world looks and sees that I am without, I have more than I could ever want or need because Jesus satisfies me. Even if my so-called “dreams” are never fulfilled, I am content and fully satisfied in Christ alone. He is my portion, my treasure, my reward.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:25-26 ESV)
I want to share something I wrote shortly after I arrived in Slovenia last year. It was late May, and I had been in the “old country” for about five days.
It seems as though my restless heart follows me wherever I go.
Driving along the busy highways of Dallas, I’m convinced a trip abroad, to greener spaces and charming places, is the cure I’m searching for. Only after I arrive to my paradise do I realize it is not. I long for routine and home and friends and familiarity.
What do I really want? What do I really need?
I know the answer.
The Lord calls out. He reminds me that only He can satisfy. True contentment is found when I lean into His arms, when I gaze into His eyes. He is enough. In all things, Jesus, you are enough.
Let it ring true every day. Satisfy me. Romance me. Be my everything.
My restless heart follows me wherever I go. But then, God, so do you.
Let down, disappointment, and unfulfilled dreams have paved the way for Jesus to do a deep and rich work in my life. Never would I have known Him like I do today had He not led me to and through those barren, wilderness paths.
My emptiness has truly made room for His abundance.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)
Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no produce on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields yield no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in Yahweh;
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
Yahweh, the Lord, is my strength,
And He has set my feet like hinds’ feet
And makes me tread on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:17-19 LSB)
Pursuing Peace 